Leaders Unscripted

Conversations with leaders about the challenges they’ve faced and what they’ve learned.

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12: Leading While Caring for a Parent with Spotify’s Nivia Henry

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When caring for a parent becomes basically a full time job, embracing humanity as a leader becomes absolutely essential, for both the leader and the team around them.

Engineering Director at Spotify, Nivia Henry, leads her team through innovation of the highest level, but with a mother in care she’s elegantly balancing these two worlds.

Join us on Leaders Unscripted as we share how you can manage the demands of leadership alongside the needs of aging family members, and look after yourself in the process...

This Episode Covers:

  • Coming to terms with parents’ mortality
  • Recontextualising your worldview and applying it to your leadership style
  • Creating space for your emotions away from your team’s
  • Being present with self-care and dignity
  • Advice for leaders caring for parents when they can’t shift down a gear at work

Episode Highlights:

“I graduated with an engineering degree in the early 00’s. I found myself having to take a lot of contractor roles, because that's all we're being offered. I was having a lot of opinions and getting myself in trouble as a result!” - 6:50 - Nivia Henry
“The secret sauce to staying long at any place is to ensure that there's always opportunities to grow and to be excited.” - 13:40 - Nivia Henry
“A lot of everyday stresses just went out the window. You're dealing with mortality, and you're watching your parents deal with their own mortality and trying to make sense of who they are now in this phase of their life. Your mom had a workplace accident, my mom had a stroke, which are both quite big turns in your life. Those are not slow declines. The sudden-ness is the shocking bit to me.” - 20:00 - Suzan Bond
“I need to provide the space and I can't occupy the space with my own stuff. When I have one-on-ones specifically, I try to have buffers before and after just to empty my own cup, if you will. That way I can be present and fully available to the person I’m interacting with.” - 27:30 - Nivia Henry
“We're leaders, but we're also humans. In order to lead you have to be a good human for yourself. I call it the airline state of mind. Put your own mask on before you put on other people’s.” - 32:40 - Suzan Bond & Nivia Henry
“You've got to make the time to replenish your own cup, and you have to find what will replenish your own cup if it's draining.” - 38:55 - Nivia Henry

Links & References:

Constellary: https://www.constellaryhq.com/

Suzan Bond: https://www.linkedin.com/in/suzanbond/

Zac Smith: https://www.linkedin.com/in/zsmith/

Nivia Henry: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nivia/